Have you ever had one of those days when you seriously just want to throw in the towel and give up on everything you've worked so hard for. I'm trying so hard to be a good Christian, but the closer I get to God the farther I feel from the rest of the world. I know he is all I need, but I need support too. Of course I have my parents, family, church, and little but sometimes it's just not enough. It's not really that I need anyone else, I just need people to understand who I am. Yes, when I was a freshman and sophomore I drank and wasn't a very good person. That's part of my testimony and I'm not ashamed of it, because it led me to where I am now. But I am a newly dedicated, on fire for Christ, daughter of the King. I understand that I will lose some friends and that's ok, but I wish my real friends would please step through and the others would leave me alone.
I've involved myself in entirely too much in college and I'm burnt out. I need out of it. I need out of all these activities that bring me down. I have made commitments and I will see them through, because I am not a quitter. But, they are literally draining every ounce of me. I don't know if I have anything else left to offer my King. I'm spending all this time and energy on things that used to mean everything to me, but now he means everything to me and I'm losing precious time with him. I know I sound like a little spoiled, complaining baby, but I know only Christians would understand how I feel. I can't leave my obligations and don't want to be at EKU and do nothing, but at some point I have to slow down or I will never make it 1.5 more semesters. Please keep me in your prayers.
3 Marks of a Godly Leader
3 months ago
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so honest! I've been thinking about you lately and was going to write on your FB wall to see how your walk with the Father is going. The Christian life isn't easy...no one said it was. I totally understand where you are coming from. I've been there. I have so many people around me that are Godly, but sometimes...I feel empty. My situation is the opposite of yours. My life is busy but different kind of busy. You are very active in your school, I'm not.
Maybe you need to be less involved with your school because of the kind of influence you are getting. Get involved with Christian groups (if you have not already).
This may not make sense...perhaps, it's better for you to e-mail me. Whould you mind doing that? Please, if you do not want to, don't feel pressure to say so.
You've got a beautiful heart. Don't let the evil one get to it.
Living4Jesus
H
Who is this?
ReplyDeleteThe comment above was from me, Haddie. Sorry, to freak you out! Living4Jesus is my screen name.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I am so proud of you! The awesome thing about God is that He uses our impperfections and our willingness to share our mistakes to reach the hearts of the lost! Satan is the ACCUSER and wants you to give up, to give in, to remember the things you've done that you aren't proud of...but you and I both know that God doesn't. As far as the people in your life goes, babe..it's not easy, but you will find who your true friends are. It's a hard thing, but the ones who truly know your heart will stand by you through it all. Hang in there. Don't give up! God is grooming you for His purpose. His plan...and it's bigger than you or I could imagine! Don't grow weary...finish what He's started..He WILL be faithful to complete it in you! Would LOVE to get together and visit! So proud of YOU...all of you...the good, the not so good...ALL OF YOU!! Love you!!!!
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